Savoring the Best Things with Melissa Martinez Barroso

[00:00:00] It's something that you have to exercise every day. It's not that you want to wake up and feel super excited about everything and enjoy every simple thing as I told before our brains

[00:00:17] then to focus on negative things. So it's honest to try to exercise and identify those things that we really enjoy and try to bring to our memories all the things that we will like at the end is more Savoring life as a whole.

[00:00:45] Hi everyone, I'm Roger Kastner and welcome to The What Do You Know To Be True podcast. In these conversations I talk with ordinary people about their extraordinary skill and the meaningful impact it has on others. The intention is to learn about their

[00:00:59] experience with their superhero power and in doing so. Maybe we can learn something about the special talent in each of us that makes us unique and allows us to achieve our purpose.

[00:01:11] In the season of gratitude and giving I'm so grateful for our guest and for the story and experiences she is going to share with us today. It's truly a gift to witness and receive her

[00:01:24] story and the hopeful message she intends to send by sharing it. This conversation is with Melissa Martinez Baraso and her superhero power is savoring the best things in life. Melissa and I met a

[00:01:38] couple of years ago when we started working on a project together. Now Melissa just moved from our hometown of Mexico City to New York City and I'm always impressed with people who have the

[00:01:48] courage to move from one country to another to be exposed to and to learn new customs, new rituals and do all of this in a new language. Melissa's courage and sense of adventure did not stop

[00:02:01] it just moving to a new country. On Monday mornings when we'd get together Melissa would tell me about the new adventure she had had in New York City over the weekend and these stories have a special

[00:02:11] spark to them. It wasn't just going to a museum. It was going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and attending a rooftop party in dance in the night away. She wouldn't just go to some happy

[00:02:22] hour arranged by her building manager. She would be doing stand-up paddle boarding in the middle of the Hudson River. She didn't just go to Central Park. She'd go there and drop people in her sketchbook. Every story she shared had something extra to it, something that these experiences were

[00:02:41] amplified because she did something special. Recently I listened to a hidden brain podcast on savoring where the host Shankarvanamtham interviewed psychiatrist Fred Bryant who was studied savoring for over 40 years and has co-written the book savoring a new model of positive experience.

[00:03:00] In that book the authors defined savoring as the capacity to attend to the joys, pleasures, and other positive feelings that we experience in our lives. In the hidden brain episode, Fred Bryant shares that savoring the simple pleasures in life not only helps us experience more

[00:03:19] joy in those positive moments but that savoring helps build resistance and is now being used in cognitive behavioral therapy as a way to dampen depression. He advocates for proactively pursuing joy through savoring, but points out that since our brains are wired for fear we have to take

[00:03:39] the extra step to seek out joy. Murder the point Fred says while fear hunts us we have to hunt joy. Which brings us back to Melissa our joy hunter. Melissa's stories of her adventures in New York

[00:03:54] city are filled with finding joy in the present and holding on to them when the present is not joyful. And my presumption had been that when she was primarily doing this it was in pursuit of joy

[00:04:08] and positive experience as alone but that's not the case. Recently Melissa shared with me that her practice of savoring did not start that way. At the beginning it was not to find joy and mindfulness

[00:04:22] but it was a conscious choice for survival and transformation. If you're ready let's dive in. Hello Melissa it's good to see you thank you for joining me today. Hi right here thank you so much for inviting me. I'm bringing you my

[00:04:39] pleasure. So I'm using this term savoring and I casually define savoring as the deliberate practice of seeking out joy in everyday things to increase the positive and to be more present in the moment.

[00:04:55] Does that definition resonate with you and is that how you would describe what you do? I think our brains or at least my brain tend to think about the negativity more than the positive experiences.

[00:05:14] So I use savoring more as a tool to get out of that negativity my brain is focused on and I was thinking about that yesterday because I was commuting from the city to my

[00:05:28] apartment. I was in the subway it was really crowded it was running late there was no air conditioning so I was really annoyed by everything. I could continue thinking about that and how not happy. I

[00:05:45] was at that moment but I started to think about the other things that I did when I went to the city so I had a great dinner with my boyfriend and I went to a concert of a musician that I really

[00:06:01] like. So all of a sudden I was thinking more about that than what I was living at that moment. So I don't know I see savoring more as enjoying life as a whole more than just the little moments

[00:06:22] that those little moments do matter but I think it's more as a whole. What I love about that is savoring is not only a tactic to enjoy the present but when you're in a position where

[00:06:38] maybe the present isn't worth savoring that you can go back to those moments of the things that you are grateful for, for thankful for and and read live them and savour those a little bit more.

[00:06:52] Bringing to your mind all those great experiences that you had and tried to think about how you felt at that moment how that smell maybe because you had a really good meal, how it tastes.

[00:07:10] And I think that helps you to stop thinking about all that negativity and focus more on the good things and when your experience is great things break enjoy the moment they come mental

[00:07:22] picture of that because you're going to use it later maybe. And I love that idea of taking a mental picture Fred Bryant who has written a book called Savoring A New Model for Positive

[00:07:36] Experience talks about taking a mental picture as a way to store that moment and to savor it later and it's something my wife does and I can remember the moments in our lives together where she

[00:07:53] is said, take a picture in your mind. And the first time she said it to me was 31 years ago sorry for that audible like wow that was a long time ago I'm old sound I just made but 31 years ago

[00:08:08] we're sitting on our rooftop in Santa Barbara looking at the stars and beautiful summer night it's nice and warm stars or plantafel and she says take a picture and I can still picture

[00:08:22] what what it was like to be there and there's times like right now I'm savoring in that moment. What are a couple examples of things you do to find joy in everyday life? In the daily basis

[00:08:35] I believe I try to do things that I really like so yeah I have to work that I like to work to but before doing that like dedicate some time for me for what I enjoy and for me is just having

[00:08:57] a cup of coffee I need coffee to start the day going for work with my dog and then yeah continue with the with the daily basis but I believe is that is trying to to dedicate some time for me

[00:09:18] for what I need for what I like and trying to practice it like everyday life but we said trying to take that mental picture of the good things that you like and try to remember how that

[00:09:33] felt I've recently come into learning how one should taste coffee and it's yeah the first step is the smell you just smell it and see what flavors that you can get from the aroma. The second step

[00:09:55] is to slurp like you actually slurp the coffee and it gives it's for the intention of spreading the coffee over the tongue the next the third step is to locate where in the tongue does

[00:10:09] it hit and then the fourth step is to describe the flavors that you taste and you know I'm new it this so when you know the slurping the slurping feels awkward because we're taught not to slurp

[00:10:24] our food and the the locating on the tongue is also you know something I need to practice because it's it's hitting all over I don't know quite what but this practice of tasting coffee

[00:10:39] I think is a great method of savoring and it has the intention not to be more present in a moment but to really be able to get a more definitive palette the ability to pick out the flavors

[00:10:56] of coffee and be able to serve one coffee from another but it it feels almost like a meditation practice and it's definitely a savoring practice to follow those steps. I would like to include

[00:11:09] meditation as one of the of my practices but it's not I would like to do it I would like to do it and I think that will help a lot in this exercise of savoring but I don't know I cannot stay just

[00:11:30] that much time just seated thinking they they refer to it as a practice because it takes practice and what I've come to learn about meditation is those moments that you get antsy the moments where your mind wanders that's supposed to happen it's going to happen the strength

[00:11:52] the thing you work on is being able to come back and as you know as as the practitioners the teachers will tell you and begin again there is the juice and that practice the beginning again

[00:12:08] I also in Rikai Martin who was on an episode of the podcast when I had shared with him that I started a meditation practice he had asked me are your dreams more vivid and I thought about

[00:12:22] it and it's like yeah actually there a lot more vivid is like that happens with meditation and I was sort of surprised to connect the dot on those two because I thought it was something in my

[00:12:36] diet or maybe just some other changes but so another advertisement for meditation is that your dreams will become more vivid did you have someone early in your life who was a role model for savoring? it's my grandma I feel like she's always enjoying

[00:12:56] everything is just enjoying always life I got impressed because she always has this energy and she always wants to dance and have conversations with you and but I didn't realize that until now what

[00:13:13] most impacted to me or the person that most impacted me about savoring is kind of funny because it was a coworker he was a coworker we were having lunch at work and he was talking about

[00:13:36] all the things that he wanted to do and he wanted to do an MBA and he wanted to marry it had kids I don't know live in Europe and become a partner and the list was really long and

[00:13:54] I told him well you want everything and he said yeah I want all the great things that life has to offer and I don't know that that phrase resonated so strong on me that five years later

[00:14:13] I'm still thinking about it yeah that sounds like it was a gift what that person said and they probably didn't have the intention for it to be a gift they were just sharing

[00:14:27] what works for them but it sounds like it was received as a gift and a mantra something to to hold on to and that you carry forward and I love how you mentioned your your grandmother

[00:14:42] being your role model for savoring my grandmother who also moved to New York City young at life she was living in Florida in the panhandle definitely more more rural more country than the New York City moved to New York City in 1944 and she she was a model for

[00:15:06] for a time she worked in the library she did a lot of different things she was a a yogi she practiced yoga and meditation in the 70s and she probably continued to do it but

[00:15:22] I love this idea of New York in the 70s and there's my grandmother doing modeling or I'm sorry doing yoga in the 70s and modeling in the 50s and just you know having this really

[00:15:31] interesting life in the city I have been traveling back to New York to visit her for my whole life and so there's different times that I got to go back and we would go do different things

[00:15:47] throughout the city and it didn't take me too long to realize there was a pattern that we kept going to some of her favorite places and I was I was there for it I loved everything whether it was

[00:16:01] you know going to the museums whether the you know the Googanheim where the architecture is art in and of itself going to the Whitney going to the Metropolitan Museum of Art which I know we both

[00:16:12] have a passion for we would go to you know just even walking down the street and the pretzel vendors and you know that smell of the dough and the salt and the mustard and just taking that in

[00:16:27] you should have to pay for that just that that sense of that smell let alone the pretzel itself but her favorite place in New York City is Grand Central Station and I know we've talked

[00:16:41] about this before but she would love to go into that grand hall at rush hour and take a seat at one of the bars up on the mezzanine and just watch the flow of humanity of you know business

[00:16:56] people running to their trains to go up to Connecticut or up to Westchester or you know just rushing to get home to be with their families and she was sitting there and just loving this the sense

[00:17:11] of being in this grand place this beautiful hall with the beautiful mirror on the ceiling and seeing people just running to you know running to be with their families and rushing to get on that

[00:17:23] train so they can get home as quickly as possible it was just just a wonderful moment and she was she was savoring that moment she was doing something that was just you know total sensory experience

[00:17:38] and making a point of sitting observing and taking in what was going on and I think about that as you know one of one of my early and frequent reminders of savoring and the art of savoring

[00:17:55] I feel like when you talk about your grandma inspires me so much now I return that I go to those places now I remember remembering your grandma so well and this is when yeah when we were working together

[00:18:15] and we would talk on Monday morning I was always so interested to learn what you did over the weekend because you would talk about doing things like you know going to central park and

[00:18:29] drawing people or when you went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and you went there to go you know to a rooftop party and was dancing on top of the roof I mean those those really felt like

[00:18:43] moments of savoring and it reminds me a lot of what my grandmother did throughout her whole life and so I think there's there's a special connection that we have there. I really enjoy when you talk

[00:18:55] about your grandma and to be honest um every time that that now I go to central park or grand central now I think over your wascare with his grandma but I don't know it's a sweet. It's

[00:19:11] second hand savoring. It is because I can imagine her just seated there watching people it's nice and you don't when you're at grand central station you don't have to imagine it you're doing it too and it's probably a feeling of not doing it alone that you've

[00:19:31] done it there's probably a lot of people who do that and love being in grand central station because it is fascinating it is amazing to see that the chaos and the flow of humanity through

[00:19:42] there and what that what that portal means for people yeah it's one of those things it's really hard to put into words. There's some artists that I really like and I I forgot his name

[00:20:01] but he really likes to do that he sits at the subway or in a park etc and he's just they're sketching people and those really big sketches of people and has one of of people in

[00:20:19] grand central and you can see like people with her with their bags with their dogs with while it's with a lot of kids stories I don't know it's great. Yeah the utter chaos of humanity that

[00:20:34] flows in and out of there and yeah yeah it's inspiring there's so much like people are going through there and it's not the act of being there it's going through there to go do very mundane simple things and then some really amazing things and it's it's it's

[00:20:57] not you know it's kind of a privilege and an honor to be able to witness that not knowing what they're going off to do but we can you know maybe we can start telling ourselves some

[00:21:07] stories of hey there's you know there's a parent with three or four kids and of course they're going to central parts too or maybe they're going to museums or maybe there's a street festival

[00:21:17] they're going to or you know there's a business person with you know their computer bag and they're you know they're rushing off and they have a little bag and a drink and you know they

[00:21:27] probably didn't get lunch because they were so busy at work and they're trying to get home and you know we can tell ourselves those stories about that and just yeah really just just witnessed

[00:21:39] life going on and it's kind of wonderful yeah wonderful being able to sit back and you know not not be focused on yourself but you get to focus on other people. I love that. Okay now I want

[00:21:53] to go to Grand Central Station. It was in the epic show. Well next time we're in New York we'll have to go there together. Oh sure so you recently told me about the moment when you consciously

[00:22:09] chose savoring as a pathway to better health and well-being what would you like to share about what led up to that moment what inspired that moment in the path you've been on since. Yeah yeah it's interesting how we talk about it about this person just inspiring

[00:22:33] that moment because I think that phrase of one of the experience all the great things that life has to offer became part of my purpose and I really not sure not quite sure about how

[00:22:51] it takes place in this but in short I've been dealing with anxiety and depression for a while since high school um and that led me later to uniting this other so savoring wasn't part of my life at all

[00:23:11] at least when all of these big-an I hit the rock bottom when I wasn't eating I wasn't sleeping it's really important to sleep. I wasn't drinking a lot of cafe in that it's good but if you're

[00:23:27] not eating it's really really bad that led me into our very non-failure and I ended into the hospital and being there was really scary I don't know I I was there in the hospital

[00:23:43] and I kept thinking about this person saying that he wanted to experience all those great things that life has to offer and I couldn't help but think that I wanted that too. I wanted all the

[00:24:00] great things too. I left the hospital I went back home but something changed me I don't know I was determined to do all what I could to really experience those great things and enjoy just

[00:24:20] being here being alive. I know that's not an easy story to retell and I think you're very brave for sharing what you have and being willing to come on to this podcast and share

[00:24:34] the that story and what led you to up to that moment and being able to bring forward that idea of enjoying the best things in life as a way of part of your recovery and survival

[00:24:55] and so I think that's courageous and brave and I really appreciate and I'm grateful that you're sharing that that you originally shared it with me but then you're willing to share it here because I

[00:25:06] think the more we hear these kind of affirmations from other people there's going to be moments in our life where we're going to need to be able to were were faced with these choices,

[00:25:22] these challenges and hearing stories of other people's courage and bravery I think only helps us be more brave and courage in those moments when we need to so thank you for sharing that.

[00:25:34] You also recently told me and I think this again continues as an example of you being courageous and brave that you want to share your story in order to help and have an impact on others

[00:25:48] who are experiencing what you experience and you share that you want to help destigmatize seeking out mental health services and you want to demonstrate one way to break the vicious cycle of seeking external validation and unhealthy ways can be through sharing your

[00:26:07] experience with with savouring can you share a little why that's important to you and the impact you hope to have on others. First thank you for those kind of words I felt that

[00:26:24] this was the right that forum to talk about it that do work the right person that way I wanted to share it because there's like so much stigma around mental health and at the end

[00:26:39] your brain is another organ like if you have stomach ache you will go to the doctor and reciprocate and then you will feel better so why not do can't go to a doctor when you are feeling

[00:26:58] but it's the same it's an organ what I noticed when I was in failing that bad is that I didn't want to say anything and I didn't want to be like classified in that group of people that

[00:27:17] have mental health problems but there was no there was no reason around it it was just because it sounded really bad I think and when I started being a little more open about it I realized

[00:27:38] that I had friends that were experienced something similar that I had co-workers that were experienced similar things and all of them felt alone but we were all living we were all interacting

[00:27:56] and we were all living and experiencing similar things and at the end we were not alone so I believe if you are open to talk a little bit more maybe not everything because I know it's because I know

[00:28:12] it's a little hard to talk about it but maybe someone that is experienced something similar and that feels really, really lonely and this opens a little dark to seek help and sometimes all we need is a little door or someone saying something over lunch that just

[00:28:39] they might think is a simple quote but it sticks with that other person for the rest of their life and becomes that you know that central focus that mantra for them we never know

[00:28:50] the impact we have on others and you're right that you know everyone's dealing with something at any time and the you know we're going to need help with some of the larger things in life

[00:29:07] and not you know whether it's a stigma or whether it's just the fear of other people's opinions there's a lot of people who don't seek help who don't ask for help and that's that's tragic when you know they're thinking they're alone when in reality everyone is having

[00:29:30] a everyone's had a mental health challenge or can relate be empathetic and the people around us and this is something that actually came up on a prior episode as well about rewriting inner narratives our guests who is a teen counselor on a mental health crisis hotline

[00:29:52] talks to teenagers who are thinking about harming themselves and you know the people who love them the most who want to care for them the most their parents they're afraid to tell them they're afraid of disappointing and it just seems so tragic that the people who'd love us

[00:30:11] and care for us the most are the people that we're at least that we don't want to tell and yet they're in the best position to help us and to care for us and and for us to fill

[00:30:20] that warm you know physical and mental embrace of being cared for it's just right there and yet all it you know no one's ever going to know what's going on inside of us so really it's

[00:30:30] incumbent upon us to share with the right people but there's yeah there's plenty of people who are out there who want to help each other I believe the the only thing we can do is to let people know

[00:30:44] that we're here and that we want to hear them and we care of them and that when they are ready we will be here to help but with whatever we can help so I think I shared with you I'm in a book club

[00:31:05] and we read books on topics like this and one of the books that we've read recently is Oliver Burkeman's 4,000 weeks and the idea the premise behind that is the average lifespan covers about 4,000 weeks every 20 years being about a thousand in the average age being 80

[00:31:27] and it's a time management book but counter to a lot of time management books that tells us how to be more effective at managing our business and just allow to be more busy this book is actually

[00:31:44] putting a contrarian view out there saying that hey we only have 4,000 hours and two generations three generations after we're gone no one's going to remember us that's very unlikely we're going to have an impact on the world that people are going to remember in that time frame so

[00:32:03] maybe instead of being so busy trying to attain something in the future to be more present in the moment to make the moment more positive pleasurable for you and those around you which is central to this idea around savoring. Do you have any thoughts about that?

[00:32:24] Just don't need to do anything extraordinary to deserve or to win being able to enjoy life and enjoy things so I think it's very much alive but with what you were saying. It's wonderful that she've learned all these things and you don't have to go read these books

[00:32:50] because you already know them and that that frees you up to go read different books about things that you want to know about and that also leads me and I think you you started to answer the

[00:33:03] question right there with you deserve all these things what do you know to be true about savoring? Do you cannot savor if you feel or think that you don't deserve what you are experiencing?

[00:33:20] And I would love that if one person hears this and they just get one race of all of this conversation is that you deserve all the great things that life has to offer. You don't have to do

[00:33:36] anything. You just because you are here and you're alive, you deserve it. And the second thing is that it's not as easy as it sounds. It's something that you have to exercise every day.

[00:33:51] It's not that you one day will wake up and feel super excited about everything and enjoy every simple thing as I told before our brains then to focus on negative things. So

[00:34:09] it's or not to try to exercise and identify those things that we really enjoy and try to bring to our memories all the things that we will like at the end is

[00:34:25] is more savoring life as a whole. And then I think and I believe it's really important to mention is that I use savoring as a tool to deal with anxiety and depression but I'm sure I wouldn't be able

[00:34:44] to do all of this if I haven't received help. So I encourage you to well to the person that is hearing this and if they're struggling with something similar to us for help and accept that help.

[00:35:01] I think it's really hard to start thinking about savoring and all of these things if you are not receiving the right help. What have you come to learn that's not true about savoring? In my case,

[00:35:16] I felt that I needed to win things. So I thought that I need to do something extraordinary to be able to enjoy other things and when something would really happen to me,

[00:35:34] I felt bad because I didn't do anything to win that and that's not how life works with all this everything. Oh, I told myself I wasn't going to do it but I'm going to do it anyway. Are you ready to

[00:35:54] savor the lightning round? Okay, sorry fill in the blank. Savoring is... I experienced in all the great things that life has to offer. Who in your life demonstrate savoring for you?

[00:36:10] My grandma, for sure. Is there a practice or a teen that helps you grow nurture or renew your ability to savor? I believe is dedicated time to yourself, to identify the things that you like

[00:36:31] and dedicated time to do all the things that you really enjoy to do. Is there a favorite book or movie you recently watched and would recommend that has savoring as a theme? About time has savoring

[00:36:45] all over the movie. So I recommend that. What is one thing that gets in your way of savoring? It's me and I said maybe too many times but I tend to think in all the negative things so

[00:37:03] I'm the only one that could decide if I want to focus on that or look for the good things that are around that thing that I'm not liking. I'm just kind of hoping you would start singing a

[00:37:20] Taylor Swift song. I regret about that song. So I have that, this is a new regretty. What word or phrase describes what savoring feels like when it's had a positive impact? Come.

[00:37:45] Love that. So Melissa, this recording of this episode has been such a gift in so many ways. First, really appreciate your bravery and courage to tell your story and really grateful for you sharing

[00:38:02] what you know to be true about savoring. So much goodness in there and so it's just wonderful to hear you talk about these things and how powerful it's been for you. There's so many lessons that

[00:38:18] I can take that will be powerful for me and so I really appreciate that and we've had some technology problems along the way. We recorded this episode last week and due to glitches on my side

[00:38:34] had to re-record it today and then even in today we've had a couple challenges and although yeah there's challenges have been frustrating. I have, I can honestly say I've savored the moments

[00:38:47] of having this conversation in four parts now with you and it's how I actually think about all the conversations and why I so appreciate that we stay in contact because I am reminded of savoring

[00:39:02] every time we talk and hearing your stories about the things that you do and the adventures that you go on and it's just a wonderful reminder of that yeah as you said we all do deserve the

[00:39:16] greatest things in life and it is reaffirming to see you take on this approach of savoring and enjoy you know what some people might think are the simple things but as you said are the best

[00:39:30] things in life. Thank you so much thank you so much for those sweet words I told you before I think this was the right space to talk about this and you are the right person to talk with

[00:39:51] and I always enjoy having conversations with you. We're meaningful conversations so thank you so much thank you so much for inviting me for creating this space. You were so welcome and I am so looking forward to the the opportunity where we get to go

[00:40:12] to Grand Central Station together and just sit there and watch the flow and enjoy the moment savor the moment. I will be happy to thank you and look forward to next time. Thank you so much.

[00:40:32] Okay I'm going to say it. I'm not going to apologize. I savored this conversation with Melissa and I hope you do too. I appreciate her courage and her bravery for sharing her story. I'm grateful she shared

[00:40:46] what she's learned to be true about savoring not only as a way to enjoy everything that life has to offer but also as a way to heal oneself. I've also inspired by her desire to help others who are

[00:41:00] suffering through anxiety, depression and body dysmorphia. By sharing her story her intent is to destigmatize the asking for help in seeking therapy as she shared seeking help is part of her path to well-being and she was surprised by how many resources were available to her once she

[00:41:19] sought them out. And I love how Melissa responded to the question of what is she known to be true about savoring that everyone deserves the best things that life has to offer and that finding joy

[00:41:31] and savoring requires action. It does not just happen you have to be a joy hunter too and I'm grateful that she shares that this appreciation for savoring did not come to her naturally, but only after she sought help from mental health professionals. What a gift this conversation was

[00:41:50] for me and hopefully you got a lot of value out of it too. This conversation leads me to reflect on a few things that I'd encourage you to think about as well. The first, how can we savor the moments

[00:42:02] when we use our superhero powers in order to be fully present in their impact on others? And before we jump into our superhero mode, can we spend more time savoring the situation to better

[00:42:15] discern why we are there and do we need to use our superhero power in that moment? Or is the person or people we are hoping to possibly impact are they fully capable of leveraging their own agency

[00:42:29] and capabilities to address the problem or situation they're facing. In other words, can we be more impactful by supporting others rather than jumping in the save of the day? If you're not sure

[00:42:42] what your superhero power is, one of the easiest ways to discover it is to ask a trusted friend or colleague. They most likely know what it is. And if you like this episode, please do me a favor.

[00:42:54] Tell one other person who you think would enjoy listening to it. That would be truly helpful and I would greatly appreciate it. What do you know to be true is a three blue pens production

[00:43:04] and I'm your host, Roger Casner. We are recording on the ancestral lands of the Duomish and Sequoamish people to discover the ancestral lands of the indigenous people who's land you may be on Go to native hyphenland.ca. Okay, be well my friends. Do you do karaoke?

[00:43:30] I want to say no but I have done it sometimes. Yeah, but it's not something you seek out. No, it's not something I seek out but if I'm there, well I'm already there. So

[00:43:43] when I do I'm to sink it. I love that because it's something I do not seek out. I wish it was but when I go I'm like way too embarrassed to do it but all the people around you

[00:44:01] sing well. Yeah, because I have a friend that sings really well. So every time she sings it's like come on we can let's sing around you because she looked like profession and what the rest of

[00:44:18] us more tells that dancing really well with just enjoy and laugh on. They absolutely need to advertise a karaoke sessions whether or not okay we're taking this seriously or the worst you were singing the better if this is going to be. And I have found myself

[00:44:41] what going with friends to karaoke and they did not warn me in advance and it was absolutely one of those sessions where everyone there's like trying out for the next musical and I'm there

[00:44:55] like you know maybe a couple shots into it thinking I was going to bell-towel the song and then I don't know no no this is not my I'm in the wrong place. Well no my friends don't think really good

[00:45:10] so maybe that's because I'm okay going to karaoke. You can't delete this section