An Invitation to Co-Create | Mike Geyer | True Snacks

Transcript 

Roger: You have a little bit of a technique that you use, um, as part of that invitation and you were just talking about care and I was hoping you could share a little bit about, um, that. Technique or the reminder about finding out that, that area of where you have the thing you can share, can you tell us a little bit about that?

Mike:  There's when I'm in my office directly above, you know, we're all on video conferences all the time nowadays. Right. Um, Just above the camera is a post it note that says three words, make me care. It's, it's a constant reminder. In fact, what's really funny is during the pandemic, I, uh, um, my daughter would use my office, you know, for just getting out of the house.

And suddenly I realized that post it note, It was not in my handwriting is in my daughter's handwriting, and I love that she swapped it out because it feels even more authentic and precious to me that my daughter's handwriting, right? But the idea of how, when I'm interacting with anybody, how can I create a place where they care?

And a lot of that stems from, like you said, it's me putting it out there. It's me being both vulnerable for, Hey, I need your help. You know, you have to expose that. Uh, you know, Bernie Brown would be so proud of us having this conversation, but you know, you have to have that vulnerability, but you also have the confident confidence.

I know that's the right word, but the comfort in ambiguity, comfort of, Hey, this may go nowhere. I'm doing this because I've learned in life that when I create an environment where folks are invited to care, where folks are invited to be vulnerable, where they. I'm not going to say a safe space or anything like that, but a place where it's okay to be silly, to be smart, to be curious, to be inquisitive.

When folks do, when they do engage, when they accept that invitation, when they knock on the door, when they come in to this place you've created. Great things happen. One of my favorite stories is, uh, over the summer, my family and I, we went to New York city early in the morning. I'm a, you know, uh, I'm a dad.

So I wake up early and go and get some coffee. So I go to the Starbucks across from the hotel. We're in Chelsea, you know, kind of a cool hip neighborhood. And I walk in this cute little Starbucks and there's, you know, three or four other customers and, you know, two folks working behind the counter and, you know, place my order, same thing, double short Americano and my Mike is a pretty common name, so I'll often say Mike G.

Um, And just saying Mike G and this woman behind the counter, she's probably in her late 20s, a black woman, you know, way cooler and hipper. She lives in Manhattan. I'm a guest and I, you know, kind of look like a tourist. She goes, Mike G. Her eyebrow goes up. I'm like, yeah, I said, but you know, the way you say it is important.

You can't just say my G you have to say Mike G in the house again, 8 AM on a Friday in New York city. And so she kind of her face lights up. She laughs. She goes, okay. And she writes it on the cup. And then, you know, a couple minutes later, what do you hear? Mike G in the house again, there's nobody there, but we all walk up and I get my coffee.

It was a fun experience. Right. In. So just the transaction. I just needed caffeine. I was jet lagged, but that little transaction was so much more than just, you know, here's four or five bucks. Can I have a coffee, please? And, you know, it turned into something more. And I didn't even realize how great that experience was until the next morning when Julia, my daughter, again, 14 year old, goes with me to the Starbucks.

And there's few things more embarrassing to a 14 year old girl than her dad in Manhattan, you know, in a cool place. And so, uh, you know, she places her order for her drink. I place my order. Amazingly, the same woman, same barista is there. And she says, I don't need your name. And she writes it down. And you know, this whole transaction is lost on my daughter, who's probably looking at her phone or looking around.

So sure enough, few minutes go by and my daughter's drink comes up and mine and another Mike G in the house. And my daughter's looking around first panic. Wait, what, what, what's happening? And then she realizes what's So I got to reconnect and have another experience with this barista over just coffee and I'll never ever see her again for the rest of my life, right?

But as my daughter and I are walking back to the hotel, she's like, daddy, how do you do that? Why? You know, what's going on? And I said, sweetie, I do those things a hundred times a day, a hundred times a day. I put out an invitation, Mike G in, you know, and then she, her eyebrow goes up. So I know I can go a little further.

And I, and I'm like in the house, you know, and. 94 times out of 100, nothing happens. It's just a normal transaction. It's like, okay, Mike, gee, I'll get your coffee in a second. Or, you know, whatever's going on. And nothing happens. And I don't feel bad about those moments. You know, I've no, they're just who I'm interacting with.

But those six times a day, that's what is exciting. That's what makes this experience better. And so make me care. That woman has no reason to care about my last name. She has no reason to care about my personality. All she's there to do is to take my order and hand me a double short americano with a little bit of room and everything's done.

But she was in a place at that moment where she did care. My G, huh? And then I'm like, Oh, in the house. And then she went and confirmed that. And so what started off as a silly little nothing turned into an experience on that Friday. And then again on Saturday. And then I got to have a conversation with my daughter about this.

So I'll always look for those little opportunities. And, and for me, it's, you know, put the invitation out hoping that That the other person will accept, but recognizing that they don't always want to, and it can be a little overwhelming, but I think I just love that little fun story of our, our vacation that

Roger: So much to unpack and that, because like, what would happen if it wasn't just six times a day? What if it was, yeah, 60 times a day, a hundred times a day, would that be exhausting? it might be a little overwhelming and it would obviously be less special.

Mike:  Might be.

Roger: Oh, I would think so. I would think if, if every experience, everyone would be shouting Mike G in the house, wherever you go.

And after a while it'd be a little like, okay, cool. Now I got to come up with a new routine. But I, I think that that invitation with that barista who, you know, she's probably had hundreds of people come through the line already at 7am in the morning, she's going to have a hundred more. She's going to have to take out the trash.

She's going to have to make that same drink. Yep. Over and over again. And, you know, New Yorkers do have a little bit of a, uh, of a, uh, uh, of a stereotype of, of not trying to, you know, they're just trying to get through their day. And when you're trying to navigate through a town of 8 million people, like just navigating from home to work, um, is really tough.

And so like you, your invitation there. Was really an invitation to joy and there was no, no, it was not part of the transaction. It was nothing required, but you made that day, that person's day a little bit brighter when their job is supposed to be making the customer's day a little bit brighter. So you kind of flipped, you, you, you kind of, you found that place of sharing, sharing a moment of joy and it was so impactful.

The next day. When you went in, you were able to share it again because it had impact probably not in that moment, but who knows what impact that had for that person for the rest of the day. And then you had the opportunity to, um, have the conversation with your daughter. Who's curious about this as well.

Who, you know, yeah. Talk about this generational gift. That your grandfather gave to you that you're given to your daughter. And the fact that the little note above your camera is in her handwriting. And it, again, hopefully she's picking up. This isn't a way to manipulate the situation. It's by you spending the time cure rate.

to cultivate that connection, um, by tapping into the thing that the other person cares about when it's reciprocated. There's magic created in that moment. Yeah, no doubt. And that's what makes those six moments so special. And this is your, your superhero power.

Mike:  There you go. That's pretty cool.

Roger: When you think about what you do for your job, what you do professionally, um, tell me about how creating authentic connections helps you achieve your passion, your in.

Mike:  Spending all, most of my career technology and consulting. I'm working with people, right? And people with any number of initiatives going on and, you know, demands for their time, for their attention. It still applies to, I guess, a barista making coffee, right? You've got your job you got to do. When I think about why we do what we do, we, you know, we're solving technology, we're solving business problems.

But really, it's a, it comes down to who are the people we're trying to impact. I'll tell you, you know, a lot of my job is in sales. And so, uh, there's a, I almost want a tattoo to my arm. Whenever I'm in a conversation with a customer or a client who, and I don't know what to say. My fallback is, you know what, help me understand who's your customer, paint a picture of your customer for me to help me understand what they're trying to accomplish.

And sometimes their customers, of course, the person who drops their credit card to buy the thing, the service they're doing, but often just as often they're internal customers. Well, I actually work for the CFO and then, you know, she needs this for me, or I, you know, I support the marketing team, I support this team and I'll ask the people I'm talking to.

Help me understand who is it who's going to be benefited from this. I know you're going to be benefited from it because we're building this thing and it's part of your job, of course, or we're doing this thing together. Get out of your head. into the head of the ultimate person. And that takes a level of empathy.

It takes a level of curiosity that shifts the conversation away from whatever I'm selling. If it's a, you know, a bunch of consultants, if it's some technology in shifts it to how do we solve their problem? And now I'm starting to think more about who that person is and a lot less about myself. And if you're my customer, you're my client, you're somebody who I'm hoping will hire me, my company, whatever it is, I'm getting you to think about that person as well.

And then you probably already are. Together now, suddenly I've invited you into a new place. It's not a place where I'm selling to Roger. I'm trying to, you know, win you over or woo you instead. You and I are now locked arms a little looking at that customer, looking at that, the person, that solution we're trying to do.

And we're trying to solve for them. And so I'll put those, I guess I didn't realize this, but I'm putting that feeler out there. I'm putting that invitation to tell me about your customer. Well, you know, what service or what are you trying to provide for them? How will you know that you've done your job?

How will they know that you've done your job and just start thinking about that. And suddenly now, not only am I inviting this person I'm working with. to care, not about me. I mean, sure, care about me, but care about them, care about what theirs. I'm making them care about something bigger than just what they're talking about.

What that does is it opens up their mind. I believe it opens up their mind to start thinking of new and novel ideas. They'll also in these conversations start to feel Safer about bad ideas. Now let's pivot to when I work with my team, I'm usually in a leadership role where I now I've, I've convinced Roger that yes, my widget is the right solution to help him solve his customer's problem.

Now you have to pivot back to the team at headquarters and say, okay, guys, let me tell you about Roger. Roger is a bloody blah at such and such company. And he's got this problem. He needs to solve for Laura, his customer and whatever she's looking for you. Right. And now I'm making, and I'm trying to get my team to care.

And so I'll invite them into not the How do we sell this widget to Roger? How do we deliver this widget to Roger? But more of how do we solve Roger's customers problem? How do we help Laura be what she needs to be by selling software services, wherever it is to Roger. And it invites my team to care a little more invites them to think around because they're not just checking off the box must do this, this, this.

It's the, it shifts your thinking. It shifts, you know, beyond just the immediacy of it. And so. If I can get you to care, I believe. That you as my customer, my team on the delivery, a better solution, a better outcome will be there because people care. They want, they, they need to come through for the Lars. It lifts us above the T the day to day of what we're doing.

And so maybe I gave that, you know, nice barista, a tiniest tip. I mean, I gave her a tip of course cash, but I gave her another tip. I gave her a tip of that was a little better. That was a little nicer experience and everyone benefits.