Launching Solopreneurs with Empathy | Liz Steblay

Transcripts

Roger: If you're like me, you've thought about going solo and starting your own business. But how long after you start to think about your own business, does the fear, uncertainty, and doubt start to show up and stop you from moving forward? I've always been impressed with people who were able to start their own business.

So I wanted to talk to someone who superpowers helping solopreneurs launch and sustain their small businesses. People might need inspiration.

Liz: I don't know. People need inspiration. Really what I think my life's purpose is, is to help other people launch and run their own businesses so that they can have a more fulfilling life and career.

Roger: Liz Steblay walked away from a successful career with a consulting firm to have better work life balance. And do the consulting work she loves to do on her own terms. And along the way, she found she has a superpower to help people like her launch and sustain their own business.

Liz: The single thread that goes through the whole career is empathy.

We let's make it that way. Let's be more human. The world needs us to be more human and more empathetic.

Roger: Hi, I'm Roger Kastner and welcome to the, what do you know, to be true podcast. In these conversations, I talk with everyday people about their extraordinary skill, their superpower, and the meaningful impact it has on others.

The goal is not to try to emulate or hack our way to a new talent. Instead, the intention is to learn more about. Their experience with their superpower and in doing so, maybe we can learn something about the special talent in each of us that drives us towards our potential. If you're ready, let's dive in.

Hi, Liz. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for being here.

Liz: My pleasure. I've been looking forward to it for a while.

Roger: Oh, me too. I'm excited to have this conversation because you're someone who helps others discover and empower their extraordinary talents and passion into new careers and starting their own business.

So I'm excited to learn what powers you. But before we get too far, can you tell us a little bit about Liz Stablay?

Liz: Started my postgraduate career as an internal consultant at Intuit doing organizational development work. One of the best jobs I've ever had. That's a different conversation. Then I was laid off and I went into consulting with, I joined a large firm.

I was with them for about 5 years. And then once my daughter was born, that big from model wasn't going to work anymore. We used to say that if the firm could get you. To FedEx breast milk, they would, because that was back in the day when you were traveling, you know, four or five days a week for a client.

So that was, that model wasn't going to work. So then I took a job internally at Levi Strauss as the director of organizational change readiness on an SAP implementation. Then they pulled the plug on that and I got laid off. So then in 2004, when my daughter was three years old and I was contemplating divorce, I was unemployed.

And I called a former PwC client and I said, Hey, I just got laid off. Do you need any help doing change? Man, you know, but change management, any projects. And he said, are you kidding? How soon can you get here? So I had my first project as a self employed consultant before I even had a laptop. Literally the next week I had my first project and that first year was great.

I made more money, worked fewer hours, didn't have to deal with all the big firm BS, had more quality time with my kid. And I thought, well, this is great. Everybody should be doing this. But of course, it's not quite that easy being self employed. And when that project ended, I was flat footed, caught short. I didn't have anything else lined up.

Now, by this time, I was a single mom. I was thinking, oh shoot. Which was not exactly the words I had in my head, but, uh, I panicked. And I was like, what am I going to do? Because, so, uh, because I knew I didn't want to go back to a full time job. Uh, and so I interviewed with some boutique, uh, agencies. And I found out that, uh, their business model was they would keep 35 percent of whatever the client paid.

Okay, fine. I ran the numbers though, and I realized that on my typical project, they were going to make about 45, 000. And I said, Oh no, I am not willing to give up 45, 000 of income just to have you find a project for me. Uh, and they said, well, we also managed the client relationship. I'm like, any consultant can ban, any good consultant can manage their own client relationship.

So I said, no, thank you. And I doubled down on my networking, found my next project and the one after that, and the one after that. But I've also been as a keen observer. Of what works, what doesn't work, what are other people doing, et cetera. About five years after being a solo consultant, I saw a need in the market.

And so I started my first company Proco agency, which still exists. That's actually how I make my living. And Proco is a matchmaking agency that represents independent consultants who specialize in org effectiveness. And we handle their contracts and place them with fortune 500 company. Just as I had interviewed with those agencies back in 2005, uh, now I run one, uh, but our markup is only 10%, not 35%.

Roger: I was going to ask.

Liz: Yeah. So, uh, yeah, we're more of a, we're more of a consultant first kind of an organization. So anyway, as a result of growing Proko into a multi million dollar national business, I got the reputation as a person to call if you have questions about being self employed. Do I need an LLC?

How, what do I charge? How do I get started? What kind of insurance do I need? Uh, you name it. I got the questions and I was getting the same questions over and over and I said, okay, there's got to be a better way to help more people. That's, I reached out to two fellow independent consultants or solopreneurs and I said, hey, I got this idea for this educational organization and community.

Where people can learn how to launch and grow their own consulting businesses. And my friends said, yes, we should, we should do it. And so that's how we created the professional independent consultants of America, otherwise known as PICA. So that's an educational organization and community for people who want to launch and grow Their own business.

Roger: The thread that I'm finding through this is that you found going independent sort of out of a need, but then also out of this desire of wanting more control and not, not like a negative control, but more of a like, Oh, I'm not going to pay you to find me work. I can find work. I can manage the client. Um, and so you were, you were taking control.

of not only your career, but the way how you're going to be able to support your family. Um, and then found that, you know, there's something you were really, you were good at. And that the other people needed, needed some help, needed some, not only the encouragement, but also the know how to do this. And that, um, Proco supports other, um, independent consultants getting work.

PICA supports people starting their own business. And that's how we came into contact because I was part of a, a group that was, uh, Exited out of a big four consulting firm that everyone was interested in. We're not everyone, but a group of people were interested in starting their own business. And, you know, the, your organization PICA came highly recommended.

And so that's how we got in contact. And then you just recently published a book succeeding as a solopreneur. Um, and so I'm excited to learn a little bit more about, you know, is the book just that, that extension. Of helping people learn how to start their own business, or is there something, something more or an addition to that?

Liz: Yeah. Thanks for mentioning the book. Succeeding is a solopreneur. The reason I wrote the book is finally after leading hundreds of workshops and coaching hundreds of people, I realized, Hey, I probably am writing dozens and dozens of blogs for years. I realized I probably have enough content for a book and hey, maybe if I put this all in a book I'd be able to reach and help more people.

So yes, it is an extension of everything that I teach at PICA, but it's also One of the reasons I wrote it was to inspire people for people to realize that they, they don't know all the answers. They don't know what they don't know. Yeah, there's the six keys will take you through how to do it. But, but there's also a lot of personal lessons in there about how sometimes you just need to persevere.

You need to take the leap, or you need to ask for help, or you just need to push through the difficult moment to get out the other side. So yeah, part of the reason I wrote it was to also inspire people

Roger: love that and, and the, the fact that you recognize that people might need inspiration. Like they have the

Liz: people need inspiration.

Yes. And the reason why people need inspiration is because of the FUD monster. So, uh, FUD is the, An acronym for called fear, uncertainty, and doubt. And the FUD monster is this little invisible creature that gnaws away at your self confidence. Who are, who are you to start your own business? You don't know anything about pricing.

You don't know anything about negotiating rates. You don't know anything about writing a contract, whatever that, whatever that self doubt is, or sometimes it's just an imposter syndrome. Uh, The FUD monster never fully goes away. So I've been self employed 20 years, a FUD still rears its ugly head. Um, I actually know when it's going to do it.

Does it every December? Because that's when a lot of contracts ended at my other company, Proko. I'm thinking, Oh, our revenue is going to go off the cliff. We're not going to make payroll. We're going to die. Uh, so every December I get FUD. It pops up from time to time, even after 20 years of being self employed.

So yes, people do need inspiration.

Roger: I think we can get into your superhero power here of empathy. In that you have, you're very empathetic to what people are going through. You know, that FUD monster is showing up. You know, that they have a lot of questions. You know, that they probably there's things they don't know that they probably need to know, and they probably know there's gaps, but my first question is, do you know, maybe you think about like a role model or a time in your life, um, that inspired your superhero power of empathy.

Liz: Very clearly the product of both of my parents and my father was an entrepreneur. Okay. So I grew up in an entrepreneurial household with entrepreneurial thinking and he was definitely a role model for my career, but the unsung hero. Was my mother. She was, we got, there were five children, so she was a stay at home mom with five children, four of them boys, so yeah, she was busy.

Um, and she was known for her practical advice and her empathy. At least once a week, somebody would be at the kitchen table having tea with my mom and discussing their problems. Wasn't common for women to work and raise kids or have nannies or, you know, all that modern stuff we have now, but she was known for her practical advice and she was very empathetic.

I do want to point out though, Roger, that early in my career, I thought empathy was a curse, right? So let's talk about going back to like, you think how early in my career do we want to go? Well, let's just say like the 1980s or even the nineties, women were not supposed to show weakness. Right? You were supposed to be, you were supposed to be strong and resilient and, um, professional and poised.

I don't know what else to say about that, except that I kept that very hidden for a long time. But now I think maybe I've gone to the far end of the spectrum. I was recently on a panel at a conference and I started like literally crying in front of the audience. I'm like, okay, whatever.

Roger: Is there a point in time where you decided, no, this isn't, you know, this idea of being.

Really like unhuman, like not bringing the emotions to work. Is there a moment in time that you could point to that you, you made that transition from putting on the armor versus no, I'm, I'm going to be my true self.

Liz: No, it wasn't a moment in time. There was definitely a gradual unveiling. If you will think of like an onion peeling back the layers, right?

And it just takes, I think the older you get, the more comfortable you become in your own skin. And, and so that's where the peeling of the layers or people taking off of a mask, a layer of the mask, a little bit at a time, a little bit of a time, a little bit of a time. And now I'm actually looking forward to being old where I have no filter.

You know, like sometimes you'll talk to sometimes you'll talk to somebody who's like maybe a grandparent or like somebody who's like 85 90 or whatever and they just say whatever they want because they don't care. Oh, i'm looking forward to that

Roger: So do you do you have a framework or a process You follow when it comes to using your superhero power of empathy

Liz: It goes back to the old stephen covey book. It says there's some very interesting Key concepts there. And the first is to begin, uh, seek first to understand. So that's always square one.

Listen more than you talk, right? And that ties back to the empathy, right? So if I was really trying to understand you, Roger, I would ask questions and listen and really listen and tune out. What's my next question? But, but really tune into what is it that you're saying? So that's, that's always square number one.

Seek first to understand. And then, no, there is no process after that.

Roger: But I could see as, as a consultant, like you're, you're expected to hit the ground running and produce immediately. And

Liz: yes, but often a mistake, right? If you rush in with, with recommendations and with all your knowledge and I'm the expert and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You're not really understanding what the situation is.

Roger: Right, and that's why it's so important to first seek to understand, like, and, and be hyper aware of what clients and their colleagues are saying, uh, because you have to be picking up on what they're saying. You know, what's in between the lines, what's in between the words, you have to be watching the physical, uh, cues and the, the, uh, you know, facial gestures and body language.

And like, you have to pick that stuff up so quickly that I think, I think a lot of good consultants, um, under estimate how good they are at empathy. Because they're using sort of a tactical empathy. This is a skill I use at work. Um, but it might not be something I do when I'm, when I'm no longer, you know, billing hours.

Um, it's a great skill with

Liz: kids too.

Roger: So, what is the relationship between your superhero power of empathy? And your purpose,

Liz: the superhero power is like the fuel empathy is the fuel and my purpose of helping others, uh, create their career of their dreams is it's like the vehicle that makes any sense. So the, the empathy is internal, but the, how it's manifested is with this go for it.

Encouragement and coaching and teaching that I do through PICA, which is really what I think my life's purpose is, is to help other people launch and run their own businesses so that they can have a more fulfilling life and career. I've recently turned 60 and I recently published my book in both of those things happening within a month of each other has really made me reflective, appreciative, contemplative.

And so I've been doing a lot of retrospective thinking lately. And so maybe the timing of this interview with you is, or conversation with you is, is just another part of that, of that step of looking back on my, of my whole career and now what my, what my half retirement is, which is basically helping other people launch and grow their own businesses, which I can do forever because I love it.

It's all, it's all, it's all part of. What's going on with me right now in general

Roger: in these conversations. What, when I started this podcast series, I didn't realize that this was about purpose. I was impressed with when I was contemplating what my next career move was, talking to people who started their own businesses and learning about, like, that they had some special talent, some superhero power that they loved doing so much, they had to do it all the time.

And that's what motivated them to start their own business. Um, and I, I was looking for, okay, could I get some of that, you know, conviction and that internal strength and rub it on rub it on me so I could do it myself and, um, um, We'll have conversations, um, that I mean, just that, that pathway of what we're finding at what I'm finding is for, um, not everyone, but a lot of people, their superhero powers based on attending to an unmet need.

Or attending to something that's really, they just discovered this thing is really powerful for them. Either way. They want more of it. It feels good there. The more they, they attend to that thing, the better they get at it. And then they start doing it for other people and, you know, Oh, now it feels really good.

Now it is meaningful. Now it's, you know, a purpose. And so Gallup had a, uh, piece of research that they shared that talked about, you know, uh, like 64 percent of Gen Z and millennials are searching for their purpose. In their, in their jobs. And it's like, Ooh, that's like 20 and 30 year olds looking for a purpose.

And I think, I think you need to be out in the wilderness a little bit.

Liz: I a hundred percent agree. I didn't really figure mine out until I was like 55.

I think it's a, I think it's something you come to in, uh, through experience. To life's experiences through work experiences, introspection, knowing yourself better. Um, it's a, it's a, it's a journey. It's a life purpose is more of a journey to a destination. It's not planned to get to the destination. If that makes more sense,

Speaker 3: you

Liz: sort of arrive at it.

Uh, not accidentally, but, but you, you, you figure it out through looking backwards, not looking forwards.

Roger: And

Liz: looking inwards.

Roger: Yes, love that. And some of these conversations we'll talk about purpose is not a destination, but it is the path and it is how you do something it is the the lifeblood of the thing you're doing.

It's not. It's not an end goal. It's not something you're striving to. It's something you do throughout and guide you throughout. And, and, um, what I love about these conversations is I'm just getting to talk to people who are living into their purpose, um, as much as they understand it as a way of learning more about it myself.

And I'm, I'm getting more curious with every conversation. Um, and I think there is an opportunity To just through these conversations for have other people listen in and maybe understand a little bit more about their own look inward to find, you know, what's meaningful for them. Um, but I am finding that, you know, the, the multiple paths to uncovering, discovering, revealing, whatever, whatever word works for you.

Um, What one's purpose is, um, for right now. And we could have multiple purposes too. I mean, purposes could change over time as well. Just like

Liz: you change jobs. Absolutely.

Roger: Yeah.

Liz: So when it comes to life purpose, though, I think you have to have lived a large portion of life in order to sort of figure that out.

Right. But I don't. The one message I want people to understand is that if you don't know what your life's purposes or your career purpose. It's okay. It doesn't matter. Most people don't know it. And I think people get worried, especially younger people that I don't know. I don't know what my purpose is.

Well, most people don't.

Roger: And perhaps the purpose, early career is to go find out.

Liz: Yes. Experiment, do your best and just experiment. See what you love. Earlier you talked about, uh, how people step into self employment or they create companies to fill an unmet need. But there's really a, um, an event. If you can picture a Venn diagram of three of three circles overlapping in the middle.

One is, what are you really good at? What do you love to do? And what does the world need? Or what does the market need? Right? So you could be the world's best person that, and absolutely love underwater basket weaving, but there's no market or need for it. So that, that, that other circle is very important.

But that's, that's where real true joy in work.

Roger: So what's the impact on you when your superhero power of empathy has had a positive impact on someone else?

Liz: It adds gas to the tank, so I don't make any money. Pika doesn't pay me, so when people send me notes, they'll say, oh my gosh, I'm so glad I took your pricing workshop last week, because I literally just got paid.

One, a proposal. And I never would have asked for that, for that rate. I never would have asked for that much money. This is, but whenever I get these little notes or acknowledgements, that's what puts the fuel back in the tank.

Roger: Anna Hall, um, who is a, uh, a guest on a, on a prior episode has a company called the purpose equation, and she talks about joy fuel.

And that fuel that you're referring to, she refers to it as joy fuel, because that's the source of joy, knowing that we've had impact on others. Um, so I, I, I love the connection between those two conversations right here.

Liz: I a hundred percent, a hundred percent agree that joy fuel. That's an, that's an awesome phrase.

Roger: Mm hmm. You are giving so much away for free. There's a level of generosity that, like, you have a tremendous amount of knowledge and a tremendous amount of experience that you're sharing with people. Can you say a little bit more about the motivation behind this? Giving it, you know, I'm going to say giving away for free, but I don't think that that that doesn't sound right.

Liz: Well, it is it is free. Right? If you don't, you don't have to pay for the 15 minute 1 on 1. In people like 15 minutes, what can you accomplish in 15 minutes? You'd be surprised how much we can accomplish in 15 minutes. Uh, why do I give it away for free? People have questions about being self employed, whether or not it's the right path for them, or maybe it's just a question, they are self employed.

Now they have a particular question on pricing or business development or whatever. And I have so many resources now, not just the book, but I also have articles and PICA's website and I lead workshops and I've got, I've got 76 blogs I can reference or whatever, that it's easy for me to say, okay, well you need to go to this URL.

You need to go here, go to look at that, or do this workshop or whatever. Um, sometimes it's just coaching in the moment, right? People come in and they're like, I've been wanting to make the leap. And I'm just, Concerned about X, Y, Z. So sometimes we can just handle that in the 15 minutes, but going back to your question, why do I give it away for free?

I don't know. No, I don't know why I keep, why I keep going. Roger. I'm being a hundred percent candid with you. I have enough money to retire everybody, my best friends, my partner, my closest brother, all retired. I'm the only one still working and I'm like, and, and I'm not even getting paid for doing this.

So I have a team that runs Proko. So I don't, I don't promoting myself to chairman of Proko. Cause I'm not involved in the day to day operations anymore. I literally can't retire. But I, I don't, I like, I like doing it. I guess it's that intrinsic, the intrinsic rewards, and that, that joy fuel.

I keep getting more fuel back in the tank. And, you know, sure, there's days I come down to lead a workshop or whatever, down to my office, and I think, I don't want to leave this workshop. So I don't know why do I keep running these workshops? And then I sit up straight and I'm like, I'm present and I help the people.

And then 90 minutes later, I think, Oh, that was fun. I'm so glad I did that. I just helped 10 people or whatever. And then I go play golf, uh, or whatever. So I don't know why I keep doing it. I guess it's just for the joy fuel.

Roger: I love that. That's inspiring in and of itself. Um, I recently heard, uh, someone retell a joke that they heard Jim Gaffigan tell, um, which was around how like with medical advancements, people are now going to live to be 140.

And Jim asked the crowd, who wants to play that much

Liz: pickleball?

Roger: So what do you know to be true about your superhero power of empathy?

Liz: I can't escape it. It's my nature, just like you can't get rid of the stripes on a zebra. I cannot get rid of the empathy. And so maybe that's why early in my career, I never really.

Had I had true confidence in, in myself because I was not being authentic. I was trying to try to be that stoic professional person all the time, but really it's much more powerful to be authentic and let the empathy out, right? That's what I know to be true is it's inescapable. Your superhero power is inescapable.

Roger: Letting the empathy out. I love that. That, that's, that's powerful.

Liz: It's new? I don't know. New? Is it okay for women to be empathetic in the workforce now? Is it okay for a male, um, a man in a leadership role to be empathetic and tear up? It should be. Let's make it that way. Let's be more human. The world needs us to be more human and more empathetic.

Roger: Yeah, we have, we have gotten away from the things that connect us and we all desire human connection. Um, and that happens from being more human. Because we've got to connect to something. Um, so yes. We need more empathy. We need more humanity in the workplace.

Liz: Yeah. Boy, I remember there was some book I read when I read out of college.

I don't remember, but it was for, it was for women in business. And, you know, like one of the, one of the guidelines or rules was to emulate the way men dress in business. So I don't, this is really dating me, but women used to wear like not ties, but little bows. Here, and then another piece of advice was to always wear a jacket or a blazer, you know, to, to emulate with men and leadership look like, and I'm thinking.

Now, like, no,

it's, it's okay to, to be a woman and have your own confidence and, and be authentic and, and to tear up at a conference as a speaker. Like I did a couple of months ago. Um, it's. I think that's what, I think that's what the world needs.

Roger: Uh, yeah, totally agree. And if we're trying to connect, and we see this, you mentioned your, your change management background.

Like we're always trying to connect with people's heads and under, you know, help people understand the why and help, you know, what's in it for them and try to get, Yeah. Move, move their, their, their butts and boots into, you know, this new thing that we're trying to move them, but we forget the heart and we don't speak to people's hearts.

And I think when you show true emotion, you know, people will respond to that in a positive way. Right. I mean, if, if you tear up someone, well, yeah, the sociopaths can go like, they could, they could go to a, you know, works and, and there's a few companies that I think, you know, this is really good job at, at, you know, uh, acquiring them.

But for the most of us, like we, yeah, we want to be able to achieve business goals, but in order to thrive in the workplace, we got to bring all of us. We got to bring all of who we are, um, into that, into that situation. So

Liz: that takes some bravery and some courage. It's a little bit easier when you're self employed because, uh, you know, you brought your boss, isn't going to chide you for behaving one way or another.

Right.

Roger: Is that true? Does it, does it, is it

Liz: the fun monster? Right. Yes. Maybe, maybe the boss, you, right.

Roger: Yeah. Yeah, no, no, I'm, I'm with you. I'm also thinking about like, not only I'm with you, but like the saboteur, the FUD monster, whatever we want to talk about those gremlins in our head might, might get talking to us at times.

But, um, you know, there's usually what I have found in my career. There are times when I'll ask a question in a, in a large, you know, in a conference room setting, uh, with, with multiple people there. And there's that, you know, 15 to 30 seconds of silence. And. You know, there's, there's that question that goes on in my head of like, okay, was that, was that a brilliant question?

Or is that a really dumb question? And I just gotta, I just gotta count to 30. And then the next thing that someone says, we'll either validate, okay, that was really good. Or like, uh, yeah, not, not so good. So what did you used to think is true about empathy, but have come to rethink as not true.

Liz: That it wasn't allowed in the workplace.

But there's no place for it in the workplace. There's no place for weakness. So, that's not true.

Roger: Yeah, there's no crime in baseball. Exactly.

Liz: Exactly. Maybe in 1980. 86, when I graduated from college, maybe it was true. Maybe there was no place for empathy in the workplace. I don't, I don't know. But now I think we need it more than ever.

Roger: It makes me think about a Brené Brown tells this story of, um, talking to, um, I think it's a group of Navy seals who, um, she's trying to talk about vulnerability and she's like, you know, these are some big ones. Badass mofos like these are the hardest of the heart. These guys do amazing things like they're not going to connect with vulnerability.

So she feels like she's kind of phoning it in and then she asked. Okay. Well, like, hey, what, when's the time that vulnerability comes up for you? Like she's just like, you know, throwing up the hell Mary thinking like it's, you know, they're going to say never. And so she can leave. Um, And there's, there's, you know, the moment of, of, you know, no response, which kind of expected, and then an officer raises his hand and said, everything we do requires vulnerability.

And that led to a conversation where they actually brought out a manual from like 1948 for Naval officers that talked about, you know, officers must demonstrate that they have love, affection, and care for their The man under their, under their lead. Wow. And like, when, when was the last time you saw love in a leadership book?

Like it's,

Liz: and yet when you say military book,

Roger: well, like we, we, we tend to think, I think from, you know, someone who didn't, who didn't serve, who doesn't have that experience think to, you know, the, the military is all about, you know, yelling and telling people what to do and yet command and control. And yet.

What if, what if love is underneath that command and control?

Liz: Well, I mean, if you think about my, my brother, my brother was one of my, my oldest brother was in the Marines. And, uh, I believe it's the Marines that believes there's no man left behind. And there's a bond between Marines that, that I guess they would call brotherly love, or I don't know what they call it.

Maybe they don't use the word love, but certainly it's there.

Roger: It is totally there. Yeah, I work with, um, with a gentleman who served in the Marines, and we have a lot of conversations about this because, uh, we're, you know, we're working together to help support leaders in the organization that we're in right now.

And yeah, it's, it's, it's about helping leaders actually show up in a way that demonstrates that they care for the people that, um, that they serve. They might not think they serve the people who, who report to them, but, um, but we're working on them. We'll, we'll get there.

Liz: Yeah. That's the concept of servant leadership.

Roger: So are you ready for the lightning round?

Liz: Oh, sure. I guess so.

Roger: Ready for lightning in a bottle. Okay. Fill in the blank. Empathy is

Liz: essential.

Roger: Who in your life provides empathy for you?

Liz: My daughter.

Roger: Is there a practice or routine that helps you grow, nurture, or renew your ability to help others with your superhero power of empathy?

Liz: Yes, every morning I spent 10 minutes doing, I guess some people call it meditation.

I just call it sitting. Um, Or I just listen, listen to my thoughts in 10 minutes of your day, keeps me grounded and connected.

Roger: I love how you call it sitting again. You're using plain language to talk about meditation

Liz: implies that there's a right way to do it or that I have to be chanting or I need to be doing it a certain way, but no, I just need to sit.

Roger: Yeah. Yeah. That's beautiful. So what's one thing that gets in your way? Of being empathetic,

Liz: my brain,

my rational mind, my FUD monster, my, you know, the imposter syndrome,

Roger: a early, uh, episode, uh, in this series with Enrique Martin, where he talks about, uh, empathy and he says, you know, to be empathetic with others, you have to first start being empathetic with yourself. Which sounds like turning off that spigot of negative thoughts and turning on the spigot of listening to your own needs and attending to your own needs.

What word or phrase describes what empathy feels like when it's had a positive impact?

Liz: Overwhelming.

Roger: In a good way?

Liz: Yes, in a good way. But it's, it's, it's, it's can be over, it can be overwhelming. Overwhelming.

Roger: Like the flood of emotions and I, I've been working on this idea of trying to feel emotions and sensations in the body.

You'll hear people will talk about like the somatic representation of feelings and where are you feeling? It's like, okay, either I'm really, really tight here in the vagal nerve, or I feel good and so I'm, I'm, I'm my antennae is up trying to identify where am I? You know, where am I feeling these things?

And someone recently had me, was guiding me through a process where I actually felt, it was like ET and the heart was glowing. I actually felt that. And it's like, yeah, that I could, I've now getting in touch with how that could be overwhelming when your heart is full.

Liz: I feel it in my eyes. Really? Yes. They start to, uh, they start to tear up and I, all I have to do is think about it and it starts to happen.

Like I, it's happening right now. So that's, that's where I sort of like my somatic manifestation, maybe. I don't know if I used that phrase. No,

Roger: you did. You did. So if a listener wanted to ask you a question or follow up with you, where would you want to point them to?

Liz: I do, I do one on ones now, 15 minute, one on ones, ask me anything sessions.

And the easiest way to find that, or even more about the book, or more about me, is to go to sixkeys.info, not sixkeys.com, because that URL is way too expensive. So, sixkeys.info, and from there you can, uh, find me. Find out more about me on LinkedIn. You can, um, and through LinkedIn too, you can, there's a button there that says book an appointment and that'll take you to the free 15 minute one on ones, um, but also at sixkeys.

info, you can buy the book. You can find out about PICA. You can find about Proko. the landing page for all things, Liz. Even though I do have a separate new website that I haven't officially launched, but sixkeys.info is easy to spell. Still a process.

Roger: Aren't we all? Worked in process. So Liz, thank you so much for sharing your superhero power of empathy and your stories and your metaphors.

Thank you for making the world of Solopreneur a little bit easier to get into and, and being there for so many people to feel comfortable to step into a world where they can hopefully. Be more of their true self as well as achieve greater things and live into their purpose. So thank you so much for spending the time.

This was everything I was hoping for. And it was just such a privilege to be able to talk to you today.

Liz: Thank you, Roger. Thank you for making me think. Thank you for making me tear up. And thank you for making me reflect a lot. It's been my pleasure.

Roger: Wonderful. We'll take care. Bye bye.