How Intentional Parenting Leads to Workplace Equity | Strength of Parenthood with Claudia Timmermans

[00:00:00] Whenever You Say Oh, the hardest job in the world, what you would think about naturally is about everything that you can learn from those experience right?

[00:00:09] Like both in the sense of personal growth and professional growth. But I think in the parenting space it's often not like seniors that especially for women. And I think for me personally, like this was really something that I couldn't really appreciate when I was a new mom.

[00:00:30] During the global pandemic when there was no child care, I was sitting home with a sick child trying to do like my work as well taking care of my children.

[00:00:40] It was really not that I was sitting there thinking like, oh my goodness, like look at me, like look at all these strengths. I'm building these patients and resilience that I'm learning through these experience. I was more like, oh my goodness, like how am I gonna ever make this work?

[00:00:58] So it wasn't until I finally left corporate America and looked in the rearview mirror and thought, I'm like a different person now than I was five years ago right? And like the reason being is that like all these things that I went through through being a parent.

[00:01:19] Hi, I'm Roger Kastner and welcome to The What Do You Know To Be True Podcasts. And these conversations I talk with ordinary people about their extraordinary skill, their superhero power and the meaningful impact it has on others.

[00:01:34] The goal is not to try to emulate or hack our way to a new talent. Instead, the intention is to learn more about their experience with their superhero power than in doing so.

[00:01:45] Maybe you can learn something about the special talent in each of us that makes us unique and also helps us find our path to purpose. This conversation is with Claudia Timmermans and her superhero power of the strength of parenthood.

[00:02:00] You've probably heard people talk about the polarities of parenthood. This incredible loving experience, while also being a struggle for survival. And sometimes it's both of those things moment to moment. But we know in the workplace the experience and capabilities one gets from parenthood.

[00:02:18] This sometimes not just devalued it's penalized. Claudia not only flips that thinking on its head highlighting that those experiences and capabilities make for better, more capable employees. She also makes the case that gender equity is critical for higher performing organizations.

[00:02:36] However, she suggests that true gender equity won't come from new and different HR policies. It will come from someplace else. Claudia believes that gender equity starts at home. If you're ready, let's dive in.

[00:02:54] Hi, Claudia. Thank you for joining me today. It's wonderful to have you on the podcast. Hey, Roger. Thank you for having me out. I'm so excited to be here.

[00:03:04] You've been having this conversation I think for a while now. In fact, last summer, you were one of the people that I was talking to that help inspired this podcast and you actually said the words,

[00:03:17] we should do a podcast. So you did a lot of credit for this goes to you inspiring this whole ideas. I really appreciate all those conversations. And I'm looking forward to this one as we get started. What would you like us to know about Claudia Timmerman?

[00:03:34] I love having those conversations over to somewhere and I love what you've done, like with your podcast. I would like you to know about me is that I'm a mom of two very fearless children, five year old girl and a three year old boy.

[00:03:51] And I've also become a leadership coach really focusing on parents based on my experience with parenthood. And it's just something that I'm incredibly passionate about.

[00:04:07] And I love the work that I get to do every day. We live in a specific Northwest is beautiful out here as you know,

[00:04:16] but I also have pieces of my heart in the Netherlands where I'm from, as well as in New York City, which is my favorite city in the whole world.

[00:04:26] Yeah, New York is such a wonderful place and it's amazing how many of these conversations there are, you know, a lot of our guests who have a part of their heart in New York.

[00:04:37] And there's something beautiful about that place that just really resonates with with a lot of our guests.

[00:04:43] And there is something really special about the Pacific Northwest and of course I think a lot of our guests are from the Pacific Northwest because it's my little network that I'm talking with people.

[00:04:54] But there's something really special and spiritual about this place. And I know this is where we chose to raise our kids of all the options of places that we could have, there's something about the Pacific Northwest that just seemed like a lovely, a lovely environment to raise children, which, you know, makes me think about the idea you shared with me that there's an incredible professional and personal growth that's achieved.

[00:05:23] Through the transformational experience of being and becoming a parent. Could you tell us more about that specifically? Tell us about the professional and personal growth that you experienced when you became a parent. I really think that parenting is the hardest job in the world.

[00:05:43] Whenever you say, oh, like the hardest job in the world, what you would think about naturally is about everything that you can learn from those experience right? Like both in the sense of personal growth and professional growth.

[00:05:58] But I think in the parenting space, it's often not like seniors that especially for women.

[00:06:05] Since idea that everything needs to come natural and I think there could be like so much more appreciation for all the hard work that parents are doing and really highlighting like what type of skills like you learn like from doing this.

[00:06:20] I think for me personally, like this was really something that I couldn't really appreciate when I was a new mom during the global pandemic when there was no child care.

[00:06:31] I was sitting home with a sick child trying to do my work as well taking care of my children.

[00:06:39] It was really not that I was sitting there thinking like, oh my goodness, like look at me, like look at all these strengths. I'm building this patients and resilience that I'm learning through this experience.

[00:06:50] I was more like, oh my goodness, like how am I gonna ever make this work? So it wasn't until like I finally left corporate America and looked in the rearview mirror and thought wow, well that was incredibly wild.

[00:07:09] And now it's like hip-poss and look back and think about like what just happened in these last five years.

[00:07:18] And that is when I realized like wow, like I'm like a different person now than I was five years ago right and like the reason being is that like all these things that I learned through through being a parent.

[00:07:34] And you've recently launched your company, Aletta and I love the origin story behind it. So tell us about Aletta and what inspired you to launch it as I was having these conversations with you like last summer.

[00:07:49] Really thinking through like looking back in history and like kind of the like how far we've come in terms of gender equity. I was thinking about my own grandmother who's 104 and when she like got married, like she was no longer allowed to work.

[00:08:08] And then kind of that evolution right like when my own parents like became parents and my dad was sharing this story that he told his work that he was becoming a parent.

[00:08:19] And then his boss said to him like well that's great but you won't see your child very much and then my mom like nobody really expected her to return to work after if he had a child. And then I was thinking about my own children right.

[00:08:41] So that's how I've been working with my parents and also working like those already like two jobs and how do you combine those two. And then I was also thinking about my own my children right.

[00:08:58] And then I was thinking about the work force to look like whether they are entering the workforce like many years from now. And there's just still so many opportunities like for improvement in that space. So that's how I found it. And then I was thinking about that.

[00:09:15] The original origin story of that name is that it's basically a combination of the my daughters first name Olivia and then also there was this woman in the Netherlands named a let a Jacob's and she was the first woman like in the Netherlands to go to college.

[00:09:35] And she really fought for women's voting rights because there was this line and that one's where you couldn't vote if you didn't pay tax but she was actually like a professional like she was a doctor paying tax so she said well I can vote because I pay tax it went away up to the Supreme Court and they said well like no this is really not how it's intent and like well.

[00:10:04] Intent and like only man can vote so I thought there was also an interesting connection with my background in originally I started my career in. In tax law there's just a lot there and that inspired me to launch a letter.

[00:10:19] And what we focus on is really helping parents like through that evolution of like becoming a parent and really making sure that you recognize these strengths. Early on not like me like five years in where I look back and think.

[00:10:35] Wow that was wild but that you can really like have that appreciation like as you're going through it I mean it's still going to be hard it's still going to be a lot of work, but I think.

[00:10:47] We can just have so much appreciation like for ourselves and self compassion for like the work that we're doing and the children that we raise.

[00:10:57] I love everything about that and it makes me think of a couple things one our friend Bill Heferman who is our our resilient guru that talks about people who have a lot of resilience.

[00:11:12] Look at situations and instead of seeing them as challenges they look at them as opportunities and what's your what I'm picking up from you is looking at parenthood.

[00:11:24] Not as a way of survival, although there's a lot of elements where it feels like survival but what are the what are the strengths and what are the what are the capabilities and what's the new level of confidence and experience and and love.

[00:11:40] That you carry forth with and can bring into every aspect of your life including your work life. Yeah absolutely, you said that wonderfully and yeah that's something that that I think there still could be a lot more appreciation for that aspect.

[00:12:00] I love what you're up to with your company and from our previous discussions and I've shared this with others and it really lights them up the focus of a lot of. Being that this idea around gender equity starting at starting at home. I've shared that with other people.

[00:12:20] It's interesting there's there's I've noticed a difference in how the genders respond to that idea. Where you know when I mentioned when I say gender equity starts at home. People who are female say yes. Whereas people who are male might be like.

[00:12:48] Yeah, I can see that and there's a little bit of maybe more of a realization that happens on one side more than the other and you know I haven't done exhaustive studies on this but in my own experience I've seen that so can you share a little bit more about this thought that gender equity starts at home.

[00:13:08] I get sometimes like very subtle right but like what has been shown is that like the gender equity often starts like during parental leave when a woman takes parental leave and like takes care of her child those first few months during that parental leave.

[00:13:31] I think that's like gender inequity shift like starts to happen right if you're you're feeding your child. Buying everything for the child.

[00:13:41] Really starting to make these like childcare arrangements if you are going back into the workforce and this will just kind of just happens maybe intentionally maybe unintentionally.

[00:13:54] But the fact is that that shift happens and then that typically carries through as the children got older like as you know like obviously having older children like all the activities that come with it like schooling.

[00:14:10] There's just so many tasks around my parenting you now are basically looking at like an additional job on top of your real job and really like the biggest challenge or one of the biggest challenges in parenting is just time because at the end of the day there's only 24 hours in your day.

[00:14:37] In your partners day as well if you might have a partner and their just as immediately this kind of conflict of okay like what are we doing like with our time obviously everything that has to do with like raising your children like takes time like either like time in your like mental like your mental space or actually physically like doing the tasks and I think that is where.

[00:15:07] Where there's just I show a conflict. I think a lot of the patterns that we pick up. And I'm speaking definitely for my own experience a lot of the patterns we've picked up or what we saw modeled at home.

[00:15:21] And so we just subconsciously unconsciously fall into those same kind of patterns and what I love about what you're proposing is an interruption a game changer of hey let's be intentional about looking at okay what's the work that needs to be done.

[00:15:39] And how do we divide that up in an equitable way. As far as you're running the household raising the family doing our our you know the work that pays the bills.

[00:15:52] Let's look at this is an and from an equitable way and let's have those conversations before we get into those moments where it gets really challenging you know I wish I would have had that conversation and I know my wife wishes we had that conversation 25 years ago.

[00:16:09] Time back to the idea you talked about and we're going to go into a little bit more around the strength of parenthood that being a parent and how it changes us and how it.

[00:16:21] How we learn new capabilities how we stretch how we grow how maybe increases our emotional intelligence and our ability to. demonstrate care and affection for others that you know maybe maybe I missed out on those growth opportunities because I wasn't leaning more in to being an equitable parent.

[00:16:46] with my wife. this is also like my idea with like a letter like really it's not about like men versus women.

[00:16:55] I think it's really about like the opportunity here that you only get to spend your time like once right and how are you going to spend that time how are you going to value that time and I just really want to highlight two of the books that really have inspired me with that.

[00:17:14] the first one is career and family by Nobel Prize winner, Kanya Olin who has done so much work in this space and her book is really amazing looking.

[00:17:26] at career and family throughout generations and really what she like what she said that the thing about time is is like this is like the biggest challenge like this time component.

[00:17:40] so I don't want to claim that I made this up like this is this is shown by this research right like like what is holding back like gender like equity it's really like how we divide that time.

[00:17:54] and then the second book I want to mention is a book called Fair Play by Eve Roske and she has really she has the fair play policy institute that really is about like this like division of labor.

[00:18:08] and how do you divide that into like not necessarily like equally right but like in a fair way like fair she always says like fair doesn't always mean like equal.

[00:18:24] it's also about what works for like your specific situation as well and what are people comfortable with but I think to your point where you're saying like oh I wish like I have.

[00:18:37] had those conversations 25 years ago like with my wife I think I would say like I wish I also would have had these conversations like before having kids because it just kind of like also happens naturally this shift and you may not like think about it.

[00:18:56] like if I think about back about like living in New York like me and my husband both working like their just wasn't like that much to do like we live in a tiny apartment in New York City.

[00:19:08] like we work like every evening and their juice wasn't like as much work to do but then once you have kids there's just like a compounding of like work that needs to be done right and as the kids get older there's activities there's all these things that need to be arranged for.

[00:19:26] and so there is just this all this work and it just creeps up on you until you're maybe if you're in and you're looking back and you're like well okay is this like equal and that conversation.

[00:19:39] is much harder to have like one shirt like in the thick of it right like as a parent when you're just sleep deprived.

[00:19:47] like your like both of you are just like well I didn't sleep it's just this competition like you wake up and it's like well I didn't sleep like I also didn't sleep. like do you have those conversations like a death point is just harder than when you're.

[00:20:06] when you have that kind of proactively and really say like you're maybe pregnant or thinking about having a child you know like you will be children in the eye and you're like oh my goodness it's amazing we're going to be parents.

[00:20:20] well now let's say down like while we're still maybe sleeping and really think through like well what is this actually going to look like and then like things change like as your kids get older like your situation.

[00:20:34] like a change so it's like this constant ongoing dialogue and communication right like the communication is just so like important I key to have these.

[00:20:44] ongoing discussions and to fine tune and like either rate etc like just as you do like in the workforce when you're working on a project I think that is just incredibly important.

[00:20:55] and you know I sent us down this path of talking about the genders and there's plenty of families that don't have that make up it doesn't have to be a you know one gender or another gender it's actually the more important part that I'm taking away from this is the intentional conversation before you get into.

[00:21:18] the the stressful situation that is parenthood of having these conversations and I'm sure you would say it's not only that and actually you did just say this.

[00:21:28] it's not just the conversation upfront it's not just the planning upfront but then once you're in that those experiences having the creating the space creating the container where you can go and and revisit those conversations and say okay.

[00:21:43] you know surprise surprise parenthood is totally different than what we thought it was going to be before we had kids.

[00:21:49] let's talk about what's working for you and what's working for me and I love the second book you mentioned fair play when you introduce the word fairness I think a lot of people have just a natural reaction to oh yeah of course I want things to be fair.

[00:22:08] I would not that for me I want that for you it's you know a word like equitable feels kind of sterile whereas fair. feels much more.

[00:22:20] I don't know at least for me it feels much more grounded towards closer to my heart where equitable feel more more exist in my head.

[00:22:29] yeah like I said like if you're going through like your careers like one career like you may take president over somebody else's career like at a point in time but it may only be a point in time and that could.

[00:22:43] I think that's like switch later on right like if that's like how you approach it and have these conversations and it's like well what is fair. like in this moment like for us and maybe what is fair now is like not fair like five years from now.

[00:23:01] and I think that is just like this ongoing like communication to have and again it's it's having those conversations and I wonder how many.

[00:23:14] how many parents have these intentional conversations I mean maybe I'm maybe I'm the a whole who never had that conversation with my with my partner.

[00:23:25] but I haven't heard many parents talk about having these conversations and I think if not if you're not intentional you're probably just falling into the patterns that you've seen witness before. and that might not be how you actually want things to be.

[00:23:43] yeah and I think that's also why like they often say like well nothing like prepares you for parenthood right hands up in the air it's like well I didn't know like what I could expect and like I totally like agree to an extent like that's absolutely true it is just like you can really like imagine what it's like.

[00:24:06] but you can objectively look at like all the tasks that's like come with being a parent because people I've been raising kids like.

[00:24:17] as long as we can remember right so it's not this like kind of like a harmonic like this list of things that need to be done like divided by age groups like still like how you're going to react like every child is different like yes you cannot prepare for that but like to.

[00:24:35] record that but like to say like you just kind of throw your hands up in the air and say oh nothing can prepare you for this is like well it's like being on a project like a new project in the workplace that you've never done before but other people have and just kind of say well nothing can be prepared for this so we're just not going to.

[00:24:56] I think that's just that's just kind of wild like I've been in the workforce for like over a decade I've never like had anybody say like well like like this is just going to be really hard so let's just like we don't know what we can expect so we're just not going to prepare for this like that's just not how you would approach them.

[00:25:17] I am laughing at myself.

[00:25:21] I love this idea of I mean there's two things going on here that are similar the idea of what's the strength of parenthood that helps us be not only help us raise our family but also the skills capabilities experience that we can take into our our vocation our work or the thing that pays the bills.

[00:25:45] And yet you were just using the example of the things that we do at work that we could also bring into parenthood. And the part about me laughing about myself is I.

[00:25:59] Literally wrote a book about critical success factors and making a list of critical success factors for the things that make for successful projects.

[00:26:08] And the idea there is not the same list for every project it's having conversations with people who work on this product on this capital project work in that environment understand the constraints understand what's been successful and what hasn't been in the past and having a conversation about that stuff and it works really well in the office.

[00:26:29] Okay, I am the a whole I didn't take that screen practice with my wife when we were having kids because like I could have talked to other parents about like hey when when you feel successful at this and maybe.

[00:26:41] Yeah, I'm sure people be like okay I haven't been a successful parent but like what.

[00:26:46] Like even even like flip it to the opposite like what are the pitfalls and you know even if you don't know any other parents there's always ant Google that you could go ask like what yeah what makes for successful parenthood for you know adults who are in a parent relationship for.

[00:27:04] Yeah, the pitfalls of parenthood and you can just start with that list. Yeah, I always think about like as I was like kind of pregnant and thinking like through like how am I like going to deliver my baby and like what what is she going to need etc.

[00:27:20] And it's said around like I wish that I would have like read fair play like at that point in time and have those conversations like at that point in time also rather than my preparing for birth like making sure I had all the diapers.

[00:27:37] All these things like to really have those like conversations right like well really like less to down and really think through like what is going to look like for us.

[00:27:48] I love that I'm thinking about like the go bag we had in the trunk of the car for when I started to go to the hospital we already had the car seat like you know we went to the fire station to make sure we had the car seat installed properly and for like we're setting up for this event and that's all important.

[00:28:07] But we didn't talk about the next 20 years or even the next year. Right, yeah, it makes you feel better. I don't think a lot of people have these conversations are from so not yet. Not yet, but I about I have a feeling you're going to change that.

[00:28:25] I hope so. Mm-hmm. So let's dive into your extraordinary talent of the strength of parenthood. So you spoke a little bit about it earlier, but tell us, you know what what are who inspired you to have the superhero power of the strength of parenthood.

[00:28:42] For one really what you talked about like raising the next generation like that is really like one of my biggest like inspiration right like what is the future going to.

[00:28:53] Look like for them, like both for my son and my daughter, like how can they thrive like in the workforce specifically talking about like well what are these kind of strengths that you're really talking about in terms of parenthood.

[00:29:08] And I think one that we've already like briefly talked about is really that resilience piece right that patience where like you are often under a lot of stress like as a parent.

[00:29:21] As a parent, as sure in these situations where you are trying to keep your kids safe or you might need to get them somewhere fast or just a lot of like.

[00:29:33] situations where you really need to build that resilience and like I said before in these difficult moments as I was going through this as a parent.

[00:29:43] In the pandemic when you're home with your sick child and I had the situation where my kid was sick and I had to speak up on a conference call and right at that moment like my son just.

[00:29:58] The vomiting all over my living room and I just remember that people on the cold being Claudia are you there like are you there and I just I'm just literally my calling my son my like in that moment it's just incredibly hard.

[00:30:16] But it also teaches you you can do these hard things and you build that like resilience like through these experiences as a parent.

[00:30:26] Like you like your kids like they hold up this this mirror in front of you right, right, they are like tiny versions of yourself and they have these like tendencies that like you look at them and you're like.

[00:30:42] Yeah, you're like my child and they're also incredibly honest like they also will tell you these things I just remember this one time.

[00:30:52] I think any parent will like recognize like you're trying to get out of the house with your children and like it's just day want to snack and they want to go to the bathroom and they want to.

[00:31:04] And like change their socks and they don't want to wear the shoes that my like that they were yesterday like I remember just I was trying getting my kids out of the house like I finally get them into their carcese while they're also like ran around the yard looking at some like things there.

[00:31:21] Like they're finally like in the car and I don't remember saying a deep breath like practicing my resilience and like I was just kind of mumbling something like. Why are you not listening and my daughter like five years old she's like well you just have to speak up.

[00:31:43] I'm like, excuse me.

[00:31:47] And then like but you're right, I guess I do need to speak up I guess like I think in the workforce sometimes people like it said to me like you're such a soft voice and also as an immigrant and I have an accent like sometimes people don't understand what I'm saying.

[00:32:07] So having like my daughter kind of like say it is back to me like holding up this mirror and like yeah like. It's a valid point when I do speak up they still often don't listen but.

[00:32:20] And it is just funny how they just like pulled up these little little mirrors. I think you've spoke to this a little bit earlier as well, but how do you define the strength of parenthood?

[00:32:31] Is really through these experiences right that you like learn these skills we talked about this before right like how it translates like into like the workplace as well, especially for women like when you become like a parent like there's still kind of this stigma like well like she's still as ambitious as she used to be like can she do this.

[00:32:56] And I think it's just like a missed opportunity like to look at it that way like you can also look at it okay well. It's incredibly powerful and this person has now taken on this huge responsibility of like.

[00:33:13] Like raising the future generation and having this hard as job in the world and like that has to come with skills that were building which it does so. I think that's for me like truly like the strength of parenthood.

[00:33:30] What is the impact on you when your superhero power has that a positive impact on others? It's really when I work like with my co-chee's right to really see that like transformation and really that appreciation and that self compassion of well like you're doing it like.

[00:33:50] That is and what are you learning like from that experience. I think that is just so powerful to see when I'm working with coaching clients but also just in conversations like these to really have these.

[00:34:09] These conversations that like make you pause and think and maybe like act differently the next time around. Kevin Jones also a coach who is on this podcast.

[00:34:24] Had this beautiful question that when he goes into conversations he will ask himself what am I going to learn in this next 45 minutes to an hour and we know we know in the brain when you ask that question you get out of the limbic system and into the prefrontal cortex and you know okay cool we know that.

[00:34:44] But there's also an emotional side when you ask that self that question it feels like I know for me.

[00:34:52] Like all the tension and the fears and you know the ego just kind of like starts dripping away and then there's there's almost like a connection to values and purpose that pops up that a more joyful feeling. And that okay curiosity could be the path to joy.

[00:35:13] Absolutely yeah I think we always just need to stay curious like about like each other and like having these conversations. So how is your superhero power of the strength of parenthood connected to your purpose?

[00:35:31] They're almost like one in the same as I left corporate American thought about well what is the next phase of my career going to look like I really thought about well what am I learning here and what do I want like the future to look like and is that where I'm going to.

[00:35:49] And put my efforts and that really like is my purpose like I want like to learn from the past and really like for that to like inspire like the future. So what do you know to be true about the strength of parenthood?

[00:36:05] That it is very real and that there could be more appreciation like for that super power.

[00:36:14] There seems like there's there's things we already do that help us that can be used to help us be better better parents if we're intentional about it and there's things that we could take from being intentional parents. Back to other parts of our lives.

[00:36:31] What did you believe early on about the strength of parenthood that she come to learn to not be true? I also really like didn't think that you could prepare like beyond like giving birth and like in by using installing the car seat at center iron.

[00:36:52] I think to me that's no longer like true like if I could go back and do.

[00:37:00] I don't I never want to look back at things with like regret my things happen for a reason and we can take that and like shape like our future experience based on what like we learned from the past but like if there's one thing that.

[00:37:18] I could go like back and do is really to like star keys conversations early. I think both like in like my own personal relationships but also like in the workplace think the way that we talk also there's still so much opportunity to like just speak about.

[00:37:42] And parents and moms and dads like in a different light parent, especially moms pay a tax in the workplace when everything you've spelled out so far in this conversation and then the work you do.

[00:37:58] So it's not a tax it's actually a benefit and the data tells us that more diverse teams outperform homogeneous teams data tells us that women tend to be.

[00:38:11] have the characteristics of better leaders and actually perform better as later. So that's the data that's the head what when you're talking about is the work of really.

[00:38:24] is really coming from the heart of being intentional on having conversations with your partner and I think you're I love the direction you're taking this and I've been so impressed from when we first had the conversation about this because I know you you talked about gender equity.

[00:38:46] And and that you wanted to do work in that area and I'm like okay she's going to you know go go like you know create ways of looking at you know what how how the genders are paid different or in hiring decisions or promotion decisions.

[00:39:01] And then you you corrected me really quickly and said no no no no no gender equity starts at home and it just it illuminated right before me of like oh yeah that makes sense.

[00:39:13] And it might it might be a longer play but it sure does seem like it's going to be more effective yes generally I start at home, but there's also this component of like time.

[00:39:27] How do you spend your time and like how is that time value my both like in the home as well as like in the work place like how to sure employer value like that time as well.

[00:39:40] And I think really like changing the narrative like how we talk I think like you said it's so the nature like it's so deeply ingrained right like I just remember before I had kids.

[00:39:51] I had this conversation with a colleague and she was telling me that she had like gone somewhere the night before and I said to her like oh my isher husband like babysitting like and she quickly corrected me right like she's like.

[00:40:04] Yeah, you mean like he's just parenting and like in that moment I'm like all right like this is like so like deeply ingrained in so many of it's because like you said like we just kind of take like what we see.

[00:40:19] And like from prior generations and then my goal from there and like what we see might influence like what we think like our expectations are like as parents as moms as that and those are still like different expectations.

[00:40:37] Claudia what are you learning from this conversation that I'm like incredibly passionate about.

[00:40:45] This topic and that it's that I'm hoping that like whoever listens to this even if it inspires one person to have that conversation with with their partner with their employer then like it's worth it for me.

[00:41:02] And I'm learning from this conversation how this topic not only lights you up in the energy.

[00:41:10] That's elevated in you, but you were meant to do this work and I'm really excited to see the impact that you have working with new parents and the impact that's going to have not only in their families, but the impact it's going to have in the workplace.

[00:41:30] Yeah, thank you so much, Roger.

[00:41:32] Like one of the things for me like that really like it was for me such a struggle whether to like stay in my job or go do something else and like one of the things was read that I wanted to be just like a role model for my kids and show that like yeah you can do both things.

[00:41:50] Like at the same time and I wanted to show that my to my daughter but also my son.

[00:41:57] So then when I did leave corporate America, before I kind of had decided like what was next for me like that was just something that I like struggled with right like wanting to be that role model.

[00:42:10] So a few weeks ago, my like I picked up my son from daycare and he had my spill my tomato soup will over his shirt.

[00:42:22] So his teacher had said, Mike, oh hey, all give it to you like in a bag and then like your mom can do the laundry and then my son like corrected her and said, oh no, like both my parents do the laundry like teamwork makes the dream work.

[00:42:41] And my dad like a hashtag. I was like, oh, like wow, oh, one, he's three, this is pretty cool and two like. Even though I still mainly do the laundry like somehow we're still wrong modeling that like teamwork makes a dream work.

[00:43:06] So I just thought that was really so funny and I said to to my son's teacher like well, my works done here. I retired. Yeah, that that does sound like a parenthood mic drop moment. Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you for sharing.

[00:43:25] So Claudia are you ready for the lightning round? I guess so. Yeah, so fill in the blank. Let's pump it up fill in the blank.

[00:43:37] The strength of parenthood is all the skills that you learn like through parenthood and like how you can apply those in like all aspects of your life. Who in your life provides the strength of parenthood for you?

[00:43:52] My children, but also I have to give my husband some credit to here like really like the partnership right like raising our children together. So is there a practice of routine that helps you grow nurture or renew your ability to use your strength of parenthood?

[00:44:09] I think one thing that really does like in in staying like kind of. Calm through the parenting journey is like breathing exercises. So that is something that's that to really pause and think and take it take a deep breath. It's really like helpful to stay patient and resilient.

[00:44:35] Is there one thing that gets in your way of the strength of parenthood? It's interesting because like if you like obviously asking me this question two years ago, like gotting my way was really like these.

[00:44:51] These narratives of I can't do this like this is like just too hard that also I think like taught me looking back that is it these are like moments in time and they up and flow and now.

[00:45:07] What's getting in my way is just like parenthood is still a challenge like it's not like it's it's like everyday like there's challenges to it right and like as sure kids grow there's new challenges, but I think. Like really making sure that you.

[00:45:24] To need to like your strength like in these moments and know that. You're learning growing together with your children like I think that really helps in making sure that you kind of to now or like change these like in our narratives that we're telling ourselves.

[00:45:41] So I'm curious about something you just said you said two years ago you. You had different ways of thinking about this and it reminds me of a Hemingway line where he talks about someone going broke and they say that they went broke gradually then suddenly.

[00:46:04] And maybe that's the response here but what was there something that happened in between the last two years that is really changed and shaped how you think about your superhero power was it something sudden or was it something gradual.

[00:46:19] I think really like hitting pause on that career right and like kind of taking a moment to really pause and reflect and think about it.

[00:46:30] And then I think that it's really like a very rationaly and really like letting go of some of these ideas of all the things that I should do. And I think that's really important to to to reshape that thinking that in that respect.

[00:46:46] Thank you for sharing that how important it is to take the boss the pause you were just talking about how important breathing is in parenthood and that's you know that's a short pause and sometimes we're going to see what happens.

[00:47:07] And breathing is in parenthood and that's that's you know that's a short pause and sometimes the pause needs to be a little bit longer and a little bit more reflective and sounds like that's what would help you.

[00:47:19] So what word or phrase describes what the strength of parenthood feels like when it's had a positive impact powerment. Where you just fully feel empowered through what you're doing.

[00:47:33] Yeah, yeah living intentionally is very generative if a listener wanted to ask you a question or follow up with you where do you want to point them to. Yeah, I would love to connect through LinkedIn like I love having these conversations and yeah.

[00:47:50] I can be reached through LinkedIn and also my website, let a leadership dot com is where you can find more about me and my company as well.

[00:48:01] And it's a gorgeous website. I know you put a lot of work into it and you know after seeing your website I'm like, I need to get to work on mine.

[00:48:12] Well, oh my goodness Claudia, thank you so much for sharing with us the strength of parenthood and what it means. You have you continue to change my thinking when it comes to parenthood and you know I'm not done.

[00:48:30] I still get to parent my kids and work with my partner as far as how we're parenting our kids the parenthood doesn't doesn't go away when when they leave them.

[00:48:42] So it's a very instructive and very helpful so I am grateful and I am really excited for what the future holds for you in the impact you're going to have with so many families and the greater community in the world that you're going to impact.

[00:49:00] So thank you for sharing with us what you know to be true about this strength of parenthood and thank you for the work you're doing I really appreciate it. Thank you Roger, it was just really lovely to be on this podcast with you.

[00:49:14] And thank you again for helping to inspire this whole podcast series. It was a great summer. It sure was okay take care. Bye bye. All right, bye bye.

[00:49:28] I'm very grateful for Claudia for sharing her story for sharing the goals of her company, a letter and for sharing her path to finding her purpose. I hope you all found this conversation to be as inspiring as I did.

[00:49:44] And the question I'm asking myself now after this conversation is what am I learning in this moment that I can be more intentional and thoughtful about.

[00:49:53] And I think the answer will be around identifying the strengths that I bring to any challenging situation and the strengths that I'm building as I grow through this challenging situation.

[00:50:05] What do you know to be true is a three blue pens production and I'm your host Roger Casner we're recording on the ancestral lands of the Duamish and Sequoamish people. I'm not sure if you've ever the ancestral lands of the indigenous people who's land you may be on.

[00:50:20] You can go to native hyphenland.ca. Okay, be well my friends. You know the kids the kids seem to be fine in my wife still talks with these people you know there's some level of success.

[00:50:36] And don't get me wrong like if you see me out and about with my kids in the playground and they're not coming because they're not listening and I'm really like leaning into my strength of speaking up.

[00:50:46] Like you like in that moment I'm definitely not thinking like well what can I learn from this experience right.